> For those who had to leave this fair state and those still here...
> THE RULES OF RURAL OHIO ARE AS FOLLOWS
>
> Listen up City Slickers !
>
> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
>
> 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive
> a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,
> you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of
> the way.
>
> 4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell
> funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't
> like it? I-70 goes east and west, I-71 goes north and south. Pick one..
>
> 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
> pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
>
> 6. So every person in rural Ohio waves. It's called being friendly.
> Try to understand the concept.
>
> 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does
> are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better
> hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
>
> 8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really
> want sushi & caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop.
>
> 9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's
> a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
>
> 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women ,
> regardless of age.
>
> 11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak.
> Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of
> ham & turkey.
>
> 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and
> ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati
> call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
>
> 13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and
> served over ice.
>
> 14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute,
> know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
>
> 15. College and High School Football is as important here as the
> Cavs and the Knicks, and more fun to watch.
>
> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards
> -- it spooks the fish.
>
> 17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities ,
> Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an
> education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at
> everybody when they come for the holidays.
>
> 18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force,
> and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get
> whipped by the best.
>
> 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap
> ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we
> want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.
>
> 20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got
> some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach
> from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska ,
> worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants.
> The pickups with snow blades will
> have you out the next day.

That could apply to all mid-west states. I know it was like that in Nebraska.

But there needs to be another one added.

21. We all drive the speed limit (or less) on the freeway, regardless of what lane we are in. And if you feel like going over the speed limit, we will not move out of your way.

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SCS Founding Member

Now as a question of etiquette, as I pass do I give you the ass or the crotch? - Tyler Durden

It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies. - Arthur Calwell

Common Sense Isn't Common


http://www.gleno.net

My dad was born in rural OH, but I'm a city slicker (Cols). I got the best of both worlds.

Where've you been, Gary?

__________________
2005 Suzuki Hayabusa Limited Edition - lots of mods
2007 Suzuki GSXR600 - wifebeater and flip-flops optional
2000 Honda CBR600F4 - outfitted with the NRC case cover of invincibility
http://www.gleno.net

Moved to OHIO bout 10 months ago. where you been?

I thought you came back? Or did you come back and leave again? Im so confused!

__________________
2005 Suzuki Hayabusa Limited Edition - lots of mods
2007 Suzuki GSXR600 - wifebeater and flip-flops optional
2000 Honda CBR600F4 - outfitted with the NRC case cover of invincibility
http://www.gleno.net

So easily confused..

i came back for week to pick up the wifey

__________________
2005 Suzuki Hayabusa Limited Edition - lots of mods
2007 Suzuki GSXR600 - wifebeater and flip-flops optional
2000 Honda CBR600F4 - outfitted with the NRC case cover of invincibility
http://www.gleno.net

Born and raised in Columbus as well. Graduated from Northland High School (Go Vikings) and never looked back. Great when I lived there, but Vegas has spoiled me. Now when I go back, the place just looks...old. Always fun to go visit though. Something about actually seeing grass and trees....

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Everyone has a game plan when they step into the ring.....until they get hit in the mouth.
-Iron Mike Tyson-

My cousin Susan was a cheerleader at Northland... but she graduated in '82. She was the Vice President of Communications for the Atlanta Falcons until recently. And I defnitely feel yo on the grass and trees... its almost surreal going back there after living here for 15 years.

__________________
2005 Suzuki Hayabusa Limited Edition - lots of mods
2007 Suzuki GSXR600 - wifebeater and flip-flops optional
2000 Honda CBR600F4 - outfitted with the NRC case cover of invincibility
http://www.gleno.net