All-
Although I do have some good friends who are HD riders I got a kick of this off of craigslist...

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.

lmao! Great post!

LMAO....that's really funny!

That is all pretty funny. I think #9 needs to be changed to ass-less chaps though...

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"Riding on a motorcycle makes you feel joyous, powerful, peaceful, frightened, vulnerable, and back out to happy again, perhaps in the same 10 miles. It is life compressed, it's own answer to the question, "Why?""--Melissa Holbrook Pierson

"There are no ordinary moments" -- Dan Millman

"At that moment, when you accept the fact that there is no fixed reality, no hard and fast set of rules that need to be followed, no limits or borders, you are making the choice to be free" --Garri Garripoli

man, what an awesome post. ill keep it going.

That was the funniest part of the post.

Its like when a white guy says, "hey I'm not racist, I have a black friend. But..."

All chaps are ass-less, thats what makes them so wonderful

No Will you're wrong...those set of chaps DO have an ass in them...*yummy*

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Liking me is a lot like masturbation. Nobody admits to it, but everyone does it.


Riding a motorcycle without a helmet is like trolling for unprotected hooker nookie in sub-Saharan Africa.