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Old January 10th @ 12:26 pm   #1
Lost Sheep's Avatar
From: Las Vegas

Motorcycle: 06 1000 rr bone stock 01 F4I

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”
“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.
“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

Old January 10th @ 01:39 pm   #2
From: Spring Valley

Motorcycle: zx 636
That is just too damn funny. I wonder if'n they'll come back next year to protest.
Old January 10th @ 04:27 pm   #3
vegaseric's Avatar
From: Las Vegas/Summerlin

Motorcycle: 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa LE/2007 Suzuki GSXR600/2000 Honda CBR600F4
that's cool as hell, but i call bs on the validity of this article.
Old January 10th @ 04:51 pm   #4
The KY's Avatar
From: Las Vegas

Motorcycle: CBR1000rr
Pretty funny.
Old January 10th @ 09:06 pm   #5
TiMMMAY's Avatar
From: The Strip

Motorcycle: 2002 CBR954RR
Funny, but I agree with Eric
Old January 10th @ 09:26 pm   #6
buellrider's Avatar
From: In that old blue chair...

Motorcycle: FXB12RR
True or not who's freakin' funny...
Old January 11th @ 03:54 pm   #7
Lost Sheep's Avatar
From: Las Vegas

Motorcycle: 06 1000 rr bone stock 01 F4I
yea when I saw it I though it was April fools but it is still funny
Old January 11th @ 04:58 pm   #8
Green_Dragon's Avatar
From: North Las Vegas

Motorcycle: 2006 Kawasaki ZX10R/2008 Kawasaki Vulcan 1600 Nomad
I call FAKE but still is funny

And would probably happen if there were any animal activists so dumb
Old January 11th @ 07:04 pm   #9
vegasvideo's Avatar
From: Las Vegas

Motorcycle: 2001 ZRX1200R, 2005 Hyosung GT650S Track Bike
Fake or not, send a copy of this article to every PETA office world wide along with a generic invite to the next event. Lol!
Old January 25th @ 01:20 am   #10
mattyrides07's Avatar
From: (Home) Las Vegas; (Stationed) Alaska; (currently) East Paktika, Afghanistan

Motorcycle: (2) 1984 Matty-Legs (they're SUPER fast!)
Fake or not... I call fake. But it's still funny!!!!!!

fur, guide, protesters, treat

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