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Old February 17th @ 09:31 am   #111
buellrider's Avatar
 
From: In that old blue chair...

Motorcycle: FXB12RR
Four nuns go to heaven and as they get to the pearly gates St. Peter presides over them and says, "Now usually we ask people here if they have any last sins they want to confess before going before Him, but since you are nuns, you have presumably lived a rather sin-free life. Nonetheless, this is your time to confess anything you have hanging over your head." So the first nun walks up and says, "Well, I have to confess that one day, while cleaning out the priests' quarters, I walked into one of the rooms without knocking and, well...I saw the priest's penis." Ashamed, she bowed her head and waited for a response. St. Peter replies, "No problem at all daughter of God, just cleanse your eyes in the fountain of purity and all will be forgiven." The second nun then steps forward and says, "I, too, have something similar I must get off my chest. You see, while cleaning out the priests' quarters I also forgot to knock, saw the priest naked, but .... I could not resist....I touched the priest's penis." Completely embarrassed in front of her peers and St. Peter, she bowed and waited for her judgment. St. Peter calmed the nun and replied, "Do not fret child, merely cleanse your hands in the fountain of purity and all will be forgiven." Before the third nun can step forward, the nun behind her starts to pull her and shove her away, attempting to get in front of her. St. Peter, rather surprised with the nun's actions pleads the nun to stop and explain herself. So the last nun says, "Oh St. Peter, I only wanted to gargle the water from the fountain of purity before she put her ass in it!""

 
 
Old February 17th @ 09:31 am   #112
buellrider's Avatar
 
From: In that old blue chair...

Motorcycle: FXB12RR
Condoleeza Rice came in to Bush's office and said "Sir, 2 Brazilian soldiers died in Iraq today." George replied, "Holy Jesus this is terrible. How am I ever going to tell the American people about this one?" She ponders about his strange over-reaction for a minute, then leaves. George then turns to his secretary and says, "How much is a brazillion?"

 
 
Old February 26th @ 09:01 pm   #113
buellrider's Avatar
 
From: In that old blue chair...

Motorcycle: FXB12RR
A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am not American!" He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Russia!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The Russian lady checks her watch and says ..."Probably at work."
 
 
Old February 27th @ 09:09 am   #114
2upFZ1's Avatar
 
From: NLV - Lone Mt & Clayton

Motorcycle: 2002 Yamaha FZ1
Good shit right there.
 
 
Old February 27th @ 09:15 am   #115
moonbaby's Avatar
 
From: Boise, Idaho

Motorcycle: 1995 Kawasaki
LOL WOW
 
 
Old March 5th @ 03:59 pm   #116
falconfixer333's Avatar
 
From: Pax River, Maryland

Motorcycle: F-35
I'm drunk and my roomate's pillow is giving me the "fuck me eyes"
 
 
Old March 5th @ 04:34 pm   #117
staypuff's Avatar
 
From: Las Vegas

Motorcycle: 2007 GSXR 1000 Yebbow/Silver
Quote:
Originally Posted by falcon
I'm drunk and my roomate's pillow is giving me the "frack me eyes"
oh man but the beerbong down and step away from the pillow
 
 
Old March 5th @ 04:56 pm   #118
Mr Pheer's Avatar
 
From: Tatooine

Motorcycle: a jet
Quote:
Originally Posted by falcon
I'm drunk and my roomate's pillow is giving me the "fuck me eyes"
Wheatie's pillow does that to me all the time
 
 
Old March 9th @ 10:48 am   #119
buellrider's Avatar
 
From: In that old blue chair...

Motorcycle: FXB12RR
Son asks his mother the following question: "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure." The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."
 
 
Old March 9th @ 09:32 pm   #120
RisingPhoenix's Avatar
 
From: Las Vegas

Motorcycle: CBR 1000rr/600f4i
 
 

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